To snip or not to snip? – Blog two.
In the previous post – ‘Catch the soapy pig’ – I mentioned that I’d just had a vasectomy and that it felt like the perfect place to start. I then didn’t talk about the vasectomy at all! Well, we got side tracked by the bottom butter incident!
So, first to the big decision. These are the questions I asked myself:
- Do I remove the source of my manliness!?
- Do I kill any chance of me ‘Sowing my wild oats’ anymore!?
- Do I lose the fact that people (by people I mean women, and by women I mean hot women other than my wife) look at me and know that I’m a man that ‘Can deliver!?’
- Will I not produce as much ‘stuff’ when I cum?
- How long will I have to lay off cycling for?
I quickly answered those points:
- Sperm is not manliness, you idiot!
- Like I’ve ever done that up until now anyway!?
- Just because I look at hot women does NOT mean they look at me back! I’m fairly sure women don’t think like their Neanderthal predecessors, whereas of course, men still do a bit.
- Of course I will you dopy twonk!
- At least two weeks. Damn.
The above questions were said with 50% truth and 50% tongue in cheek. Obviously I didn’t actually ask myself questions 3 or 4, and question 2 related only to me ‘Sowing’ with my wife. However, whilst chatting to a very good friend of mine he did allude to something approaching questions 2 and 3. He asked things like:
“Don’t you think you’re a bit young to have the snip?”
“God forbid, but what if you ever split from Jenny?”
“So, you may have a tiny dick, but fair play, we knew it worked well. Now you can’t even say that!”
I must point out that we were in the pub, drunk, having just watched England beat France in one of the best games of rugby I’d ever seen, yet still lose the Six Nations. Also, as we all know, his third question is just the sort of things mates say to each other. It’s the banter that women never really understand why we find it funny, or indeed necessary. I think when we parted much later that evening he told me to ask Jenny if she wanted an affair with him again because she’s “Batting well below her average”, so you get the idea!
Anyway, Jenny and I did wonder if I’m too young or if we would want a third child, but then we paused…We paused to allow us to think about what our chaotic, loud, messy, unhygienic house would be like with a third child, and in one fail swoop we answered all questions and doubts about a vasectomy in one go. I think the answer I gave was, “I’ll call the doctor and get things in motion now, agreed?” She nodded and handed me the phone!
Food tip of the week:
Make your own soup! Seriously, it’s dead easy, so long as you have a blender*. The possibilities are endless, but here’s one to get you going:
- Roast two packs of ready cubed mixed root veg (I used squash and sweet potato from Tesco). They’re normally around 300-400 grams per pack. I roast them with olive oil, a decent amount of seasoning and rosemary.
- Put in a pre-heated oven at 180°C for around 40 minutes (check them after 25 mins and give them a toss and another drizzle of oil if needed), or until they start to turn dark brown on the edges.
- Allow to cool and blend the whole lot with a pint of chicken/vegetable stock and store in the fridge. Use within 2 days.
It should make enough for 4 bowls of soup. You may have to add more water when you re-heat it if it’s too thick? My whole family love it. My 3 year old loves dipping toast in hers!
As variations, you can add a teaspoon of garlic puree and/or tomato puree when you blend it. You can also add a pinch of chili flakes (if children aren’t eating it).
*I suppose tech tip of the week is: Get a blender! I’ve got a Kenwood ‘Kmix’ and it’s ace.
Fact of the week:
An adult human is made up of approximately 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms!…
Nope, I don’t know what that means either!?